"If the Lord wills..."

"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
(James 4:13-15 ESV)

I have recently been troubled by much uncertainty. And that uncertainty is pushing me to make plans, plans without the Lord's counsel. I find myself thinking often of what next year will look like. I spend so much time pondering and worrying. Then I attempt to put myself at ease with one more e-mail, one more phone call, one more advisor meeting, one more career coach appointment, or one more friend to tell me everything will be fine all in a selfish pursuit of security.

Truth be told, the security found in these efforts has only been temporary and will always be fleeting.

Yet I so eagerly want to know what I will be doing next year because I am afraid it will be nothing and I don't want failure or the reputation that comes with it. So I look to myself to make things happen and make decisions based on what I can do in the time I may or may not have. I have placed God on my time schedule or maybe even left Him out.

Today, as I was praying, I was quickly reminded that as all of these anxious thoughts go through my head over and over again, my Heavenly FATHER has been and is still sitting on the throne. He is not perplexed. He is not worried. He is not doubting His plan. He is not flustered trying to figure things out. He can do all things and no purpose of His can be thwarted (Job 42:2). He knows my needs, He sets the schedule, He sets the career path, He sets the place, the time, the role, the life that comes tomorrow and even after this year. I am called to faithfully walk closely with Him. Time does not restrict or free Him. He transcends time. He never needs more or less of it to fulfill His purposes. Instead, He chooses more or less of it calling us to either go or wait and be patient recognizing that He is worthy of our obedience and surrender.

I want His plans and His schedule. Growing up in Nigeria, I would always hear Nigerians faithfully respond to people's questions about plans with "If the Lord wills..." and I love that! I love it! I want to approach every thought with "If the Lord wills..." And that is not a hint of a lack of faith but rather an expression of faith that recognizes that He can do all things but does not always allow all things. Rather He is purposeful in working everything out for our good and His glory.

There is true security found only in Him. What a stinkin' sweet truth :-D

A Divine Appointment

Last Saturday (05/15/10), I received a phone call from my landlord asking if he could come over to chat for a little bit. When he showed up, he had me read this letter he was giving all of his tenants letting them know he was in the process of selling his houses. He briefly mentioned at the top of his letter that this was a decision made for health reasons.

When I was done reading, he proceeded to expand a little on what the health issues were. He said that he had been struggling physically, mentally, emotionally for over a year and a half and had been discussing the idea of selling everything he had spent 24 years building. Every day, he postponed the decision with the hope and belief that it would all eventually go away. Every day, he struggled to get out of bed, spent hours resting at home, feeling defeated, yet still had a little hope. A year and a half later, he is now visiting his houses telling his tenants it's time to sell. "At this point, I have to choose my life or my business... and I want my life."

Listening to him, my heart was breaking and I knew this was an opportunity to share Christ with Him. I asked him a number of questions about his family and their responses to all of this. He detailed the emotional side of the struggle and shared how he felt hopeless running from doctor to doctor not receiving assurance of anything.

I asked him if he had any religious beliefs. He mentioned that he didn't claim any religion, but grew up Hindu, and said prayers every night to the gods he had placed all around his house. With this, God provided us with common ground. I was able to share with him some of my mom's testimony of coming to Christ out of Hinduism and even my dad's more recent story. With permission, I then shared with him some of my story, and proceeded to tell him the truth about God and His son Jesus Christ. For some reason, and I'm sure this hasn't happened before, even I became very emotional as I told Him that God saw his hurt and pain, that HE cared for him, and that HE deeply loved him. I told him that I believed that with all of my heart whether or not he did. It was obvious God was stirring up something in his heart because he began to cry. He said he was so grateful and appreciated the questions and hearing my beliefs and thoughts.

Over the past two years living at this house, my roommates and I had thought about how we could minister to our landlord. Now, near the end of our stay here, it feels as though we wasted a lot of time, didn't initiate much and weren't much of a light to him. It was really encouraging to have him tell me how much he appreciated us. He said that we were the most mature people he'd ever had stay in his houses and he had a lot of respect for the way we've treated him over these two years. He said that we were different. Wow! God is good. God was doing something through us even in our obliviousness. It was also really cool to share w/ him how much we appreciated him and the ways he has cared for us and the house while we were living there.

It was evident that this was a divine appointment. Before he left, I got to pray with him. It was so good to do so with him in the midst of his struggles. I really do believe God has the power to heal emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and even physically. And I do know that God chooses to heal in his own ways and his own time. I believe wholeheartedly that God deeply desires to redeem our landlord and I will choose to believe that God will draw him into relationship w/ Himself and will provide healing. In the meantime, pray for our landlord with us.

Four days later (yesterday), our landlord called me. He apologized for rushing out so quickly after we prayed because he was embarrassed to be seen in tears. He said he was so grateful for the way he was cared for and it meant so much that we were praying for him. He said it was the first time he had cried that much in over 20 years since his dad passed away. I write this to communicate the incredible power of the Gospel in someone's life. I told him we were always available to talk and pray if he wanted.

Even as I write this out, all I can say is WOW! It truly is an amazing thing to be used by God in such a way. Praise God for the many ways he chooses to use us to bring others to Him. What an incredible gift! God is good, He is powerful, and He loves us!

"All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us."

- 2 Corinthians 5:18-20

Worthy of Whole Surrender

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses of forfeits himself?"

- Luke 9:23-25

For some reason, this passage only recently hit me even after reading through it many times before. Christ is calling his followers to a very high level of commitment. We are to deny ourselves, I am to deny myself, my hopes, my dreams, my desires, and take up my cross daily and follow him. That is no small request. But what value or profit is there in having gained the whole world while losing myself in the process?

None.

But really? the WHOLE WORLD?

For some reason, what Christ is saying in Luke 9 has always tended to bum me out. In reading through it recently, it only got me excited. On some level, it's scary but on a much deeper level, exhilarating.

I have this deep desire to pioneer something BIG. I want to ride BIG waves and believe in the BIGness of God. I want to be a man of powerful faith, trusting Him with the impossible... but I'm wrestling with a lot of anxiety. I am burdened by the uncertainty of my future, my career, my ministry, where I will be, and the pride of my family in all of that. Everyday, I have to choose to trust in the promise that the God of the universe will work out all things for the good of those who love him. My prayer is that my fear and lack of trust would not cause me to dream safe and reject some of the things laid on my heart but big as I trust in a faithful, loving, and powerful God.

In surrendering my hopes and dreams, I get to live out a much bigger dream, prepared by Him, unimaginable by man. What are your hopes? dreams?... fears?

We are called to first love Him above all, follow Him, seek first His kingdom, and believe in His incredible promises for us. He is worthy of whole surrender.

Glorious

Colossians 1:16 “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him”

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork” Psalm 19:1